John Carter is a 3-D movie from Disney that’s based on the work of Edgar Rice Burroughs. Yes, that Edgar Rice Burroughs that wrote Tarzan, right? And Tarzan is certainly a much more popular and well-known work. This one, the previews looked just awful, to the extent that I actually thought about not going. Bad girl, bad girl. But I went and it’s actually not terrible; I know, damning by faint praise. It’s a bit too long, it’s kind of silly, but it is sort of vaguely entertaining in some ways. It could have been at least 20 to 30 minutes shorter because it’s 2 hours and 17 minutes. The story is about a Civil War cavalry officer that is transported to Mars and has great powers, a twelve-foot friend, and the love of the most gorgeous woman in the universe; all in 3D. Its noisy, silly, sort of confusing fun, but having said that, it’s better than I expected it to be so I’ll give it two and a half stars.